My name is XYZ I graduated from secondary school at 15 in year 2010. That was the same year I first masturbated; I was in my room one day and all of a sudden I started stroking my genitals; after a little while I felt the release of semen.
The feeling was enjoyable and soothing or so I thought not knowing the Devil had crept into my life. I curse the day I got to do this first.
I was staying alone with my dad in a single room apartment and dad would always leave early for work and return late. Immediately dad leaves for work I start masturbating. Sometimes once in a day, sometimes twice, even thrice at most.
I got admission into the university and this didn’t stop. It was easier for me since I stayed off campus.
Sometimes I masturbate before going to class and feel dizzy when in class through out my stay in the university I was masturbating. I started developing negative consequences like anxiety, guilt, tiredness and weakness, I thought some of these things were normal or so inability to associate with people especially ladies.
I could just see a girl then and I want to have sex with her and sunce i can’t I’d wait till my spare time and do the deed. I would think people were seeing through me that I masturbate. I had this false confidence like I was the man.
I moved in to the school hostel in my third year and that didn’t stop. I masturbated in my hostel room and even in the open field in school.
Just trying to skip a lot of details. There’s no place of family or friend I’ve visited where I did not masturbate. Even during my NYSC in year 2022 I masturbated all through the scheme.
I try to stop and can go off for I week or three days and i’d be back to it. I masturbate with my productive time and It has been 15 years now since I started masturbating I don’t have good social skills, my relationship with people is faint, i don’t have a job and its even a scandal now. People around me say it because I don’t have a girlfriend I don’t have friends and I don’t talk to anybody.
Not having a girlfriend is not my problem Worst of it all is I missed my purpose. I can’t say it to anybody cause I’m ashamed of it so I came here to pour my heart and advice anyone who is tempted. I t ruins life. I’m supposed to be a role model but I’m the opposite. I used to have high hopes but now my intelligence level has dwindled.
Masturbation is a demon and an evil spirit. I just pray God helps and heal me and restore me. Praise God.
