10 Relationship Myths Everyone believes about relationship and how to fix them to make your relationship better
Being in a relationship seems very amazing from the outside. You know-Holding hands, going on dates, sharing food, ‘being in love’ ,having that perfect man,and having that one special person with whom to share your life…The ones that make you dive into your puppy eye mood screaming “ God when?!” and revising your checklist – yes that’s what everyone thinks..
Relationships can be amazing and fulfilling, especially on those first few months when you both are still lost in each other but then they are not always so picture-perfect.They may never be if you actually get to it.
Those images and stories you see on your television do not show you the whole picture. They don’t ! Nobody wants to see the long nights of endless arguments about why you should close the toilet lid after using it ( trust me you are not ready for this argument),awkward nights when you feel so unsure about your decisions and end up crying to bed and amongst many other problems you don’t want to believe are hitting your Favorite couple on the gram or social media
You might want to hear about some relationship myths before having your heads in the clouds or setting your expectations on a fantasy relationship.
“The romance will never fade if we are truly in love.”
Lol!.. This particular belief has ruined a thousand and one beautiful relationship and I know you probably thinking that this is fact but darling..it isn’t . Falling in love is new and exciting. Certain Hormones associated with pleasure (like dopamine) are running in our brains, your veins, everywhere! Think of it as the feeling you get when you get a new shoe). As time goes on however, these chemicals fade.. they start to wilt not die just fade. Now we become more comfortable with our partner and the newness wears off. Does this mean you should call it quits or start sulking about how your relationship ain’t working? Not necessarily. There comes a time in every relationship when it can no longer run on the new “in love” head-over-heels feelings, butterflies-in-stomach effect.. You become comfortable but you don’t stop loving the person. We find ways to light up the mood again but not completely disregarding the fact that things fade too
“All you need is love.”
Like I said, after a while, the “in love” feelings fade. A relationship needs more substance, such as common interests and life goals to survive. This is the part you strive to have more to your relationship that ‘sweeping-off your-feet’ kind of feeling. This myth neglect passion , emotional connection, Happiness and all. There must be something you offer aside Love that has to remain even when the lives seem to be fading away. Every one likes it when we have this person you can connect to emotionally and with empathy. We could find this among our girl clique or with family. This should be another way for you to inculcate more values in your relationship.
“I know my Spec and I am making no exceptions.”
Don’t you think you would make an excellent dreamer! LOL! No one is perfect sweetheart and we cannot customize or order a partner from God above. The funny thing is that what we are usually attracted to in a person is the differences.I hate when young people go about having a Spec and would never settle for less like C’mon! Is that even a thing? I mean I know we all have standards we look up for our partners to match , I am not advocating for you to bring down your standards for anyone but think about it. Do your standards matter or you just want someone with a good personality?
A girl would say “I like an outgoing guy who can make me laugh since I tend to be more of a listener, but won’t have time for other people”.. Look it doesn’t make sense. You are wanting two different personalities now. A guy will go on about how he wants a girl with good vibes but not be in open parties..like!?? The very thing that you fell in love with can actually drive you quite bonkers. That tends to happen. But you won’t see it because he doesn’t check a box in your man-list. Dead that act guys! We all have our good and bad qualities, so try to be a little more open-minded and forgiving.
“What she does not know does not hurt her.”
Okay this right here is really very falssseeee, I am not talking about little white lies that make people feel better- not those ones. The response to, “do I look fat?” is always and forever, “no.” Keeping true secrets on the other hand is never a good idea.It always never ends well especially when the female is in the receiving end of the story. Being open in a relationship does more than build a good foundation for relationship, it builds friendship, it builds trust! Talk about how you feel bad that you danced with that girl at a party the way you talk about movie scenes and that me it may sound a little aggravating at first but the fact is you didn’t hide it from him or her. It is better to hear about if from your partner than from that nosey bartender who can’t keep her eyes off your relationship . A good rule to go by: it will come out eventually, so better now than later.
“If he truly loves me, he would know why I am upset.”
Uhm.. and this is because somehow he is your dad or your body system right?I read this line to my boyfriend sometime ago and he let out a hearty chuckle. Look, Just because two people are close does not turn either party into a mind reader or make him conjoined to your mind.He has his minds and has a way this mind of his works too.. You have yours and you have a way of working with it. This is why communication is so important. Talk to him about the way he never asks about your welfare and your day or why you don’t like the way he shoves matters aside especially one with your emotions.You just have to TALK ! He wouldn’t know if you don’t say it and you damn right she wouldn’t know if you don’t speak up!
“If we are really in love, it should be no work at all.”
Osheyyy..made in heaven.LOL. You see this right here has ruined a lot of beautiful things people have. I know we hear girls chatter about how work isn’t what they are signed up. I mean if you want something you work for it right unless you’re the second generation of a rich parents you will think again but they don’t buy relationship in the shelf of a store. Everything in life worth having takes work. Work on your relationship if you want it better. For example, each person likely has hobbies that do not interest the other in the least, but try to care a little bit and encourage your partner. Go to his soft ball game; cheer her on in the crowd as she runs her half marathon. The more you put into it, the more you get out of it. I heard somewhere that ‘you don leave relationship because they don’t work ,you build it!’ But know when it’s right to call quits too.
“He just needs to change (fill in the blank) and then I will be happy.”
Compromises and Changes in a relationship and this is normal and healthy, people do it but Forcing someone to change, though, is never a good thing. It almost never ends well because allowing a person choose to compromise in a relationship is a self choice but forcing him to change to fit into goals isn’t cool at all . It does not typically work. A person has to want to change himself before he will put any real work into self-improvement. Also you should never depend on any one person for your happiness, always remember that you and yourself alone is the happiness you need. A romantic relationship should bring you a certain amount of joy, but true happiness comes from within.
“We are not meant to be, we fight all the time.”
This really depends on what you call a “fight.” Disagreements or small arguments are all part of a relationship. Remember that opposites usually attract? This very fact means that each individual thinks differently, has a mind and a working mechanism of his own. Communicating these feelings in a calm manner is completely healthy. Disagreements from time to time are okay. You should see it this way- Two adults trying to fit into each other’s space with their different thinking mechanism and attitude but willing to compromise and fit in each other. When fighting gets out of hand and you are feeling upset all the time, you might want to seek counseling or another way to resolve problems. Of course, if the fighting is physical, you know where your bag is and get out immediately!.
“I am only jealous because I love her.”
Quite Tricky . Yes and no. True, if you did not care about the person, you would not be jealous and will not care where they are. But beware; jealousies can be brought about from other imminent issues such as relationship problems, lack of trust or even a self-confidence issue. Take a moment and evaluate why you are really jealous before doing anything rash or reckless, but also realize that if you are always jealous you might need to make some changes or a therapy.
“If he loves me, he would want to spend all of his time with me.”
Oh my Days! Yes, at first you might be love-struck and not able to stand one minute apart. But after that initial love spell fades, you need to remember to take time for yourselves .You don’t want to lose the curiosity of having to dress up to meet your partner or having him pick you up at work to spend time with you.While you are a couple, you are also individuals with your own friends, families and interests who share importance in your life too. Don’t ever neglect your friends when you meet a new guy or be the type to run back to them only when it is benefiting (not good at all!) we understand you have a lover now but Remember the hang out dates with the girls ,night out with the boys. Create time for your partner but don’t take all the time. You don’t want to be that clingy- no one likes that.
After reading through these common relationship myths, hopefully you do know now that those lovey-dovey relationships from the movies are fairy tales-well not all but most of them . It can be truly amazing and fulfilling to be with that special someone you love, but it also takes a good dose of work and a pinch of understanding for it to endure the test of time.